Last Weeks Alcohol
by flarrow.huntbastian
Summary: On the 14th of January 1990 a baby boy was born. His name was Sebastian Smythe, only child of Alyssa and Donoven Smythe. He was to inherit the Smythe empire along with all of its riches and wealth. But until then he would just be a happy kid, growing up in a normal house. Right?
1. Chapter 1

On the 14th of January 1990 a baby boy was born. His name was Sebastian Smythe, only child of Alyssa and Donoven Smythe. He was to inherit the Smythe empire along with all of its riches and wealth. But until then he would just be a happy kid, growing up in a normal house.

26th June 1997

Hello!

Mummy gave me this book! It's a writing book! Felicity told me I should write about my life in it, so that is what I'm going to to! My name is Sebastian Smythe! I was born in January, on the 14th. I'm 7. Today Mummy and Daddy took me to the zoo! Well they dropped me off. Then they paid a worker called Toney to take me around. Toney was nice, he made me laugh. I got to see a zebra and a lion and a tiger and a meerkat and a hippo and a mouse and a snake and a lizard! It was sooooooooo much fun. Toney said I could go again soon because they're getting giraffes and I should go and see them. I hope I can go again because I liked Toney because he was funny and because he had nice hair. I told mummy and daddy about the giraffes and daddy said isn't one day at the zoo enough but mummy said she'll see.

I'm sooo excited, I get to see Felicity tomorrow and I really want to tell her about the zoo! Maybe she'll come next time, then we can see the giraffes together. Mummy thinks I like Felicity. I heard her and daddy talking about it. Daddy said he wants me to marry a wealthy woman from a business family and mummy said she thinks I like Felicity. Daddy said I could do worse and mummy agreed.

Anyway I'm sleepy so I'm going to sleep now. Goodnight book!

16th May 2002

Hello.

Today there was a new boy at school. His name is Mark and he is sooo dreamy! Felicity thinks I like him and I think I do too. Felicity told me if I do there's nothing wrong with that. But boys shouldn't like boys should they? I mean that can't be normal! I've never felt this way before, not with anyone. But Mark, he has perfect brown hair, not too long but just long enough to gel up. His eyes are green, or blue, I didn't ask. Throughout the day they went from emerald green to captivating blue! He wore a pair of blue jeans and a black v-neck top that fitted him perfectly. His skin wasn't pale like mine, but it definitely wasn't dark. It was perfect. He hung out with me all day because we had the same classes. We sat together at lunch, and with Felicity. Today was the greatest day ever. Mark is so amazing! God what is wrong with me!

I've got homework to do before lacrosse so I'm going to go. Bye Bye!

14th January 2003

Today is the day. I turned 13 and I told my parents. I'm gay and I don't wanna hide it anymore. Mark told me first that he liked me and it went from there. We've been together since September last year and it's been great. I told Mum about him today and how long we've been together but I'm yet to tell Father. He doesn't need to know yet. Mum said good for me when I told her and she gave me a hug. Father just nodded.

Later on he handed me an envelope. I haven't opened it yet. But I want to so I'm going to go. Baiii!

March 1st 2003.

Mum and I are moving to Paris. Her and Father split up and so she's moving to Paris and I'm going with her. We're currently on a plane from Gotham to Calai. Father is moving to Ohio and everyone is moving on. Mark dumped me when I told him I was leaving a few weeks ago. He refuses to speak to me. And I don't have Felicity anymore since she moved to Starling City in Seattle in April last year.

I sent her a birthday present last July I had an email saying it was delivered but she never wrote, texted or emailed thanking or anything. Which is okay I guess. She's been posting a lot of pictures with this Ray Palmer guy on facebook and instagram, I guess he's her new bestfriend. At least they're happy.

We're about to land so I'm going to head off now. Bye.

January 21st 2006

I'm in Ohio. Mother sent me to live with Father. I've sensed her changing over the last two years. Fist she makes me call her Mother and then she was constantly leaving me home alone. She would always be out late.

Father sent the driver to the airport to pick me up.

Things with Father have changed. The second I got there I must have done something wrong because obviously he wouldn't do this without reason but he slapped me and told me go to up to my room and not go back down. I've spent all day in my room. He went out a few hours ago and he hasn't come back yet.

I'm gonna head to sleep. Night.

April 3rd 2006

Today was weird. Usually may day goes school, come home studdy, lacrosse. Then I come home from lacrosse, Father beats the shit out of me and then I go to my room until the next morning. School, Studdy, Lacrosse, Father beats the shit into me, Sleep. Over and over and over again. But today it went School Studdy, Lacrosse, Father beat the shit outta me, I went to bed then he came in with a parcel with my name on it. He told me to open the parcel then pack my things. Then the driver came.

I'm in a car going to Dalton Academy school for boys. I'm wearing a preppy uniform that was in the parcel father gave me. And I had no choice. I'm moving again!

I've lost everyone, Mother and Father don't care! Mark never spoke to me again. Felicity just acts like I never existed although I send her a birthday and a Christmas present every year. I don't even know if she still lives at that address, but I won't give up.

Now I have to make new "friends".

Looks like we're here! I'm off.

* * *

"Smoak?" Questioned Thad,

"Shit! That means fire!" Yelled Jeff,

"Calm down it's coming from outside. I'll go and look. You guys stay here".

Wes left the common room calmly, leaving the Warblers inside just to wait.

Wes went outside and saw it was coming from the woods. It was ten o'clock at night so of course it was easy to spot the orange glow of flames. Also it was relatively easy to spot the boy stood in front of them.

Wes walked forward until he could easily see the boy was crying, as he tore up pages and threw them into the flames. Wes also noticed markes up the boys arms that looked like they were made with a blade. "Oh god, he self harms" thought Wes before he let out a breath he didn't realise he'd been holding. He didn't recognise the boy at all, Wes had never seen him around before.

Wes quickly ducked behind a tree when he saw the boy throw water over the flames to put them out before turning and walking back up towards the Dalton building.

Once the boy was out of sight Wes walked to where the boy was standing and he noticed a piece of paper blowing around. He picked it up, it was a little burned but he could make out some writing on it. It looked like it was old, and written by a seven year old and a lot of it was smudged but he could make out some of it.

It said " _Felicity told me I should write about my life in it…_

 _name is Sebastian Smythe! I was born in Jan…_

 _day Mummy and Daddy took me to the zoo! Well they dropped me off... called Toney to take me around. Toney was nice, he made me laugh. I got to see a zebra and a lion and a tiger and a meerkat and a …_

 _again soon because they're getting giraffes and I should go and see them. I hope I can go again because I liked Toney because he was funny and because he had nice hair. I told mummy and daddy about the giraffes and daddy said isn't one day at the zoo enough but mumm..._

 _I'm sooo excited, I get to see Felicity tomorrow and I really want to tell her about the zoo! Maybe she'll come next time, then we can see the giraffes together…_

 _I heard her and daddy talking about it. Daddy said he wants me to marry a wealthy woman from a business family and mummy said she thinks I like Felicity. Daddy said I could do worse and mummy agreed…_ ".

Then Wes saw the cover of the book in the ashes from the flames. He bent down and picked it up. He dusted it off with his hands and saw it had writing on the front. It said " _ **Property of Sebastian Smythe. Gotham USA**_ " In big bold letters.

Wes put them in his blazer pockets and headed back into the Academy.


	2. Chapter 2

**11 Years Later**

"Sebastian and I have been married for two years now haven't we honey?" Said Mark in a tone that made Sebastian feel physically sick. Now he knew he'd done something wrong.

"Yes. Yes we have!" Said Sebastian suddenly and nervously. "Mark is it okay if I pop to the restroom for a minute?" Asked Sebastian, which earned them odd looks from their company in the restaurant.

"Yes honey! You know you don't need to ask!" Replied Mark in that same sickly sweet tone.

Sure I "don't" have to ask. But if I didn't you'd be pissed thought Sebastian.

Mark kissed him on the cheek but as he pulled away Mark quickly whispered something in his ear.

Sebastian could feel the bile coming up his throat as he made his way to the restroom.

When he got in there he threw himself into a stall and crouched down by the toilet throwing up everything he'd eaten that day. Not that he'd eaten much at all.

He sat on the floor crying after he'd finished throwing up. He couldn't hold it in so this is what he usually did when Mark made him go out, he'd go to the bathroom and cry for a bit.

"Hello are you okay in there?" Called a voice from outside.

Sebastian tried to respond but it just came out choked and muffled.

He heard a slight conversation before a different voice said, "I'm coming in okay?"

Sebastian didn't respond but the door opened anyway. When it did Sebastian did not see what he'd expected to. He just expected your average man not two people he hadn't seen in over 8 years. He certainly was not expecting Kurt Hummel and Blaine Anderson to be stood in front of him looking down at him.

Quickly he stood up and walked over to the mirrors in the bathroom.

"Sebastian?" Asked Kurt gently,

"Yes!" Replied Sebastian trying to keep his voice stern and succeeding.

"What's going on?" Asked Blaine,

"Nothing. What are you on about?" He replied,

"What do you mean nothing?" Asked Kurt, "You've been crying".

"Please!" Said Sebastian, "I was not crying".

"You've been sick?" Half questioned Blaine,

"What?" Asked Sebastian, turning to realise Blaine was in the cubical he was just in and then he remembered he hadn't flushed. Shit he thought.

Kurt didn't miss the flash of fear that crossed Sebastian's face.

"Just leave it! I've been having a great night so I must be off!" Said Sebastian, throwing on his classic smirk.

"Sebastian…" Started Blaine but he was already gone.

* * *

 **2 Weeks Later**

Sebastian had been having horrible flashbacks since he ran into Kurt and Blaine at the restaurant. The first one wasn't too bad:

 _It was 7:30 in the evening. Lacrosse had finished 20 minutes ago. Sebastian had just showered and thrown on some sweats and a black v-neck top. Tops like that always reminded him of Mark. Stupid right._

 _There was a knock at the door. Sebastian quickly threw on a hoodie to hide the marks on his arms before he answered the door._

" _Hello?" Sebastian asked when he opened the door to see a boy stood there._

" _Hey, you're Sebastian Smythe right?" Asked the boy,_

" _Umm, I'm sorry, who's asking?"_

" _Oh right yes. I'm Wes. Also from Gotham!"_

" _Okay creepy. How did you know I was from Gotham. Actually no, how do you know who I am?" Asked Sebastian getting pissed._

" _Well, I uh, I found these. You, well I assume it was you, who was burning them a few nights ago." Wes held out the book cover and the page._

" _What the hell?! You were following me?" Sebastian yelled,_

" _No! No, Oh god it must seem like that. The Warblers common room overlooks the woods where you were burning them. Some of the boys saw the fire and panicked so I went out there to see what was going on. I just saw you leave the fire and when I went to see if it was completely out I found these and so I wanted to return them to you"._

" _I burnt them for a reason",_

" _I'm sorry. I just, you seemed really upset that night and I haven't seen you around before so I wanted to make sure you were okay. What happened to make you burn them?"  
_ " _It's none of your business. Can you leave me and my life alone!" Yelled Sebastian roughly snatching the papers out of Wes' hands and slamming the door. After doing so he slid down it and curled up into a ball with the papers held tightly to his chest and he just cried. He was certain Wes hadn't left yet and therefore heard him but he didn't care._

Many more like this followed. It's like he would just black out sometimes and have these vivid dreams of his time at Dalton. This made him wonder how on Earth he ended up here today. In this situation.

* * *

One of the worst flash backs for him was the day Mark came back into his life.

 _Sebastian was in chemistry revision when his phone starting buzzing. It wasn't a recognised number. He warily answered it. "Hello?" He asked,_

" _Hi! Sebastian!"_

" _Mark!? Is this you?" Asked Sebastian in complete disbelief._

" _Hey, yes" He responded, "I just, I've been thinking about you recently and one of my friends played lacrosse against you and he said you'd traded numbers… and yeah… so I wanted to call."_

" _Oh…. okay…."_

" _Sebastian why did you disappear like that?" Asked Mark_

" _What do you mean?"_

" _You just upped and left for Paris. Me and Fel, have been so worried."_

" _Oh my god. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to upset you. I know lets meet up. I'll make it up to you"_

" _Sounds good!"_

That was the beginning of the manipulation from Mark. Sebastian couldn't quite understand why he'd let Mark walk all over him like that.

* * *

The next flash back he had was when Wes found out about Mark.

" _Seb open up!" Yelled Wes banging on the door, "I will kick it down!"_

 _Wes ran into the door forcing the lock open. He found Sebastian sat by the toilet in the bathroom._

" _Oh my… What happened!" Yelled Wes when Sebastian looked at him. Sebastian was shirtless and Wes could see an assortment of fresh cuts and bruises along his chest, stomach, back and sides. Wes was also sure he saw some ribs popping out where they shouldn't be._

" _Get out" Whispered Sebastian,_

" _Is this Marks way of you making it up to him?" Asked Wes,_

" _No. It was my fault. I was stupid" Said Sebastian, "Now go. Please"_

" _Sebastian, is this the first time?"_

" _Yes!" Lied Sebastian,_

" _Tell me the truth right now!" Yelled Wes._

 _Then Wes saw something he wasn't expecting. Sebastian threw himself at Wes, clutching onto his blazer, crying his eyes out. Wes just held him, whispering sweet nothings, telling him everything would be okay, and that no one was going to hurt him._


	3. Chapter 3

Sebastian woke up early Friday morning. He rolled over to see the clock. It said the times was 3:13. He looked over to see Mark was still asleep.

Slowly Sebastian stood up and walked into the kitchen. He moved one of the floorboards by the front door. He noticed they were faulty a while ago so that's where he kept his stash.

He grabbed a bottle of his favourite Lagavulin 16 year old Malt Whisky. He grabbed a glass and poured a very generous amount. Normally he'd start with something a little lighter but he couldn't bare it anymore. He downed the glass then went to put the bottle back but changed his mind. Instead he put the floorboard back put his glass away and downed the bottle. He wanted to be as wasted as he could be. After what Mark had done to him that night. He wanted to forget.

* * *

Today was a nightmare for him. Mark had been telling him for so long he wasn't good enough. Sebastian was in NYADA. But nothing ever felt right. To start with Sebastian loved performing, he'd sing, dance and act at any chance he got. But Mark didn't like it, to him Sebastian was never good enough and now Sebastian didn't think so either. So when the teacher gave them the assignment he was not very happy. Especially since Kurt Blaine and Rachel were now in his class.

 _It was fourth period._

" _Today we're merging with another class since they're teacher is ill. So please welcome Mrs Constance's class." Said Mr Conway._

 _About 20 people walked in and took their seats. Sebastian wasn't quite paying attention._

" _Okay now for the register" Said My Conway. Now Sebastian was paying attention. Mr Conway had merged the two class registers._

" _Olly Adams (Mrs Constance),_

 _William Allison (Mrs Constance),_

 _Blaine Anderson (Mrs Constance),"_

" _Here Sir" Replied Blaine._

 _Sebastian had a moment of panic before remembering, there were now about 40 people in the class. There was no way Blaine would notice him. Especially since Blaine was sat at the front of the auditorium and he was at the back._

" _Tyler Benson (Mr Conway),_

 _Megan Berkowitz (Mr Conway),_

 _But then he remembered. If Blaine was here so were Kurt and Rachel. He considered getting up and walking out but he decided to stay put. There were still 36 other people he could hide behind. And once again, he was at the back, they were at the front._

" _Rachel Berry (Mrs Constance),"_

" _Yes I'm here!" Said Rachel in an all too cheery mood._

 _Jane Burrows (Mr Conway),_

 _Lauren Butler (Mr Conway),_

 _Jason Closter (Mrs Constance),_

 _Jackson Courtney (Mrs Constance),_

 _Percy Daniel (Mrs Constance),_

 _Gary David (Mr Conway),_

 _Janet Doolittle (Mr Conway),_

 _Crisiall Drawllie (Mrs Constance),_

 _Benny Evane (Mrs Constance),_

 _Thomas Fernandes (Mrs Constance),_

 _Amina Havani (Mrs Constance),_

 _Kurt Hummel (Mrs Constance),"_

" _Here" Replied Kurt._

 _Then he thought, 'when he answers here to his name, they'll know he's here'. He didn't care about Rachel being here. But he was certain Kurt and Blaine would still want to know what would happen a few nights ago._

" _Taylor Ikeman (Mr Conway),_

 _Lilly Jake (Mrs Constance),_

 _Kofi Jims (Mrs Constance),_

 _Serena Johnson (Mr Conway),_

 _Ifan Jones (Mr Conway),_

 _Jenny Kowlis (Mrs Constance),_

 _Abby Lewis (Mr Conway),_

 _Milly Mason (Mrs Constance),_

 _Donny McGuvin (Mr Conway),_

 _Oritse McMichael (Mr Conway),_

 _Libby Meens (Mr Conway),_

 _Ohio Messay (Mr Conway),_

 _Morgan Mucanzhe (Mr Conway),_

 _Michael Needs (Mr Conway),_

 _Gabriel Oskar (Mrs Constance),_

 _Bethany Persion (Mrs Constance),_

 _Quin Sanford (Mrs Constance),_

 _Joe Smithy(Mr Conway), "_

 _Sebastian took a deep breath. He knew what was coming next._

" _Sebastian Smythe (Mr Conway),"_

" _Yep!" Said Sebastian quietly_

" _Tracy Stokes (Mr Conway),_

 _James Umbridge (Mr Conway),_

 _and..._

 _Abby Watson (Mrs Constance)."_

 _Everyone was here._

" _Okay class. Today I want you to pick a song. You'll have this period and next period to practise, and you'll have after school because you will have tomorrow to perform it."_

 _Sebastian was okay with that. He'd just pick something generic and upbeat._

" _There is one rule. It has to be personal. Come from the heart."_

 _Shit! Thought Sebastian._

 _Sebastian stayed at the back of the class with his headphones in trying to find a good song. He also was partly watching Kurt and Blaine discussing. He was going through a song in his head when he heard a slight shriek._

 _He pulled out his headphones._

" _Sebastian Smythe!" Screamed Rachel,_

" _WHERE HAVE YOU PUT IT!?"_

 _Sebastian gave her a slight confused look and then a smirk._

" _Where have I put what?" He enquired,_

" _You know damn well what?!" Yelled Rachel walking up the stairs to where he was sat, "Where have YOU put it!"_

 _Everyone started to go quiet and watch the scene play out in front of them._

" _What?"_

" _My sheet music! My folder! YOU are the only one who would have taken it!"_

" _What?!" Sebastian started to look worried, slightly scared even._

" _You just can't stand the fact Kurt got Blaine and we won not YOU! Your harassment didn't work then and your SABOTAGE won't work NOW!"_

 _Mr Conway walked back in the class to hear yelling._

" _Give it back now!" Screamed Rachel,_

" _I don't have it. You can't hang onto your high school drama forever Rachel! Just because you have the perfect life doesn't mean you can take all of your misfortunes out on the people who have less than you! You can't keep putting people down and blaming me for everything Rachel! I moved on! Now YOU. SHOULD. TOO!" Yelled Sebastian._

 _The sound of Rachel slapping Sebastian rang out through the auditorium._

 _Sebastian froze. He just stood there. Rachel continued yelling. Mr Conway ran up the stairs. He was talking to Rachel, Rachel was talking back, whilst still trying to yell at Sebastian. But Sebastian just stood there completely oblivious to it all._

 _Mr Conway turned to Sebastian. He went to say something, but before he did he noticed the distant look in Sebastian's eyes._

" _Sebastian, are you okay?" Asked Mr Conway,_

" _He's faking!" Accused Rachel,_

" _Not now Rachel" Said Mr Conway, "Sebastian, can you look at me?"_

 _Sebastian didn't move._

" _Sebastian… Can you sit down?" Asked Mr Conway concerned._

 _Mr Conway went to say something but he was cut off by Sebastian taking a deep breath and looking around with a look of panic on his face._

" _Sebastia…" Started Mr Conway,_

" _Can't…. Can't breathe…. Hav… have to g… get out…" Sebastian stuttered and then made a run for the exit._

 _Everyone stood looking towards the door Sebastian just ran out of. Next their eyes switched to Blaine as he dashed out after him._

" _Sebastian!" Yelled Blaine, "SEBASTIAN!"_

 _Finally Sebastian stopped and collapsed against the wall. He slid down it to the floor and curled up into a ball._

" _Sebastian. Just breathe okay" Said Blaine._

 _He crouched down next to Sebastian. Once Sebastian calmed down Blaine decided to speak up._

" _Seb, whats up? What's going on?"_

" _Nothing." Sebastian replied bluntly,_

" _You just ran out of Mr Conway's class having a panic attack?"_

" _I'm fine. Please just believe me. I'm fine Blaine really."_

 _Blaine looked at Sebastian as he did Sebastian looked up at Blaine. There was a moment of silence._

" _Sebastian please. Talk to me. You can't be okay? I know you want me to believe you are but your not and I'm sorry if you hate me for that but I can't."_

" _I'm not worth it" Sobbed Sebastian._

" _What? Sebastian you're one hundred percent worth it. You're smart funny… very sexy.. I hate to see you this…"_

 _Blaine went to finish his sentence but instead he leant forward and captured Sebastian's lips with his own._

 _When they broke apart Sebastian looked hurt. Scared even._

" _Blaine. I'm married?" Sebastian looked like he was going to cry. "What will Mike do!? Mike can't find out! What will he do to me?! I think I'm gonna be sick!" Sebastian got up and ran off. Blaine was going to go after him but decided against it._

 _That night Mark beat Sebastian to the point where Sebastian thought it would never end. But finally when it did Mark told Sebastian that sex would make it up to him. Sebastian wanted to say no, he really really did, but he didn't have a choice._

* * *

After downing the bottle of whisky Sebastian went back to bed with Mark.


	4. Chapter 4

The following day Sebastian got up late. He put on his glasses to find Mark gone. No note saying where he went. Just one saying " _ **be home straight after school. I've got big plans.**_ "

This made Sebastian take a deep breath in panic before putting it down and taking a few more to calm himself.

Today he'd have to go back to Mr Conway's class, CORRECTION he was going to have to walk in LATE to Mr Conway's class. Then he'd have to sing a song that would make him "open up" to everyone.

He'd found a song, and it really was personal, but lucky for him the song could be a cover. It could show more than one emotion, some deeper than others, but no one would sense the deeper ones. No one knew him well enough to work it out.

He threw on a pair of dark blue jeans and a black shirt. He left the top few buttons undone. By doing this a small silver cross on a chain was visible, normally he'd hate it if people saw it but he didn't care anymore. Next he put a small amount of hair mousse in his hand before running his hand through his hair. It was just enough to add some texture to his hair. He went to reach for his contact lenses but he instead found a note " _ **shoulda stocked up Sebby. You left the other box in my bag. Didn't have time to take them out for you sorry. Was in a hurry.**_ " Sebastian cursed out loud. Why would Mark do this to him? He was going to get out his regular glasses but then he remembered, they were also in Marks bag. He was stuck with his reading ones.

He left the apartment and decided to walk. If he was gonna be late he may as well take the chance to get some air.

"Okay class! It's time to start. I gave you period one to practice now it's time to perform".

Sebastian walked in. Everyone turned to look at him. Mr Conway just nodded and gave a slight smile. Sebastian nodded back and went right to the back and sat down.

"Okay everyone! We are going to go in alphabetical order". Sebastian smiled slightly, "Only in reverse! Abby James and Tracy are all at the maths meet so Sebastian. You're first!"

Sebastian cursed under his breath as he walked down to the stage. As he got to the front, he made brief eye contact with Blaine, who gave him a reassuring smile.

Sebastian plugged in his phone into the speakers, then he loaded up the instrumental and hit play.

The intro started. Over all the intro was a minute long but to Sebastian it flew by. Then came the time to sing.

"Happy drunk,

Grinding to a German techno beat.

Shots all around.

I'm drafting you a text.

I'm typing sorry.

I'm sleepy.

Another night.

Sadface ox." Sebastian was pretty tense. He just couldn't relax. He wasn't sure why.

"Vodka flows into any mixer you can find.

Mini skirts shift.

I see the lift of her ass.

My pocket vibrates.

I won't look.

It's you again.

And you're not here." Now all his emotions were ready. It bubbled out of him as he went onto the next lines. Half yelling them.

"She makes a pass.

Screw the phone.

Screw you and all your stupid rules.

Are you alone?

Are you dancing by yourself?

Cuz I'm out here.

Alive here.

We're dancing here.

Chugging from the bottom shelf." Kurt and Blaine looked at eachother with confusion before turning back to watch Sebastian's performance.

"This is how it feels to fall in love.

This is how it feels to fall.

The weakness, the sadness,

The sirens, the madness.

The pounding in your chest,

Like you're racing the streets in an ambulance.

I'm watching you.

I'm watching me.

I'm watching us fall.

Fall." Sebastian was pretty sure his face had gone red. He didn't care. He just kept going. He kept performing.

"Do I see you standing across the crowded room?

Like some montage or like someone's fucking dream,

And I see you.

In her face.

In every face.

Is that your scheme?

I'm watching you.

I'm watching me.

I'm watching us…" He was sure now that he was crying. He felt the tears as he continued into the next verse.

"I'm so sick of parties.

I'm so sick of being drunk.

I hold my breath.

Lips brush against my ear.

But I don't feel them.

Or know them.

I just know you.

And you're not here.

Yeah, it might be the Smirnoff or all the Natty light.

Yes it is weak.

But there's nothing left to lose.

So call me right now and I'll cave.

I'll answer you and blame the booze.

Time is passing but we're still drinking.

Life is passing us by,

We're drinking last week's alcohol.

House parties are proof the world runs to chaos.

I go outside and that's when I see you.

And you say,

Don't talk.

I'm sorry.

I'm scared of this.

Well, I'm scared too.

This is how it feels to fall in love.

This is how it feels to fall.

The weakness, the sadness,

The sirens, the madness.

The pounding in your chest,

Like you're racing the streets in an ambulance.

I'm watching you.

I'm watching me.

I'm watching us fall."

When the song ended no one clapped. Everyone looked confused. Then it hit Sebastian. Mark was right, he couldn't sing, he couldn't perform. He'd just messed up the song.

"Sebastian" Said Mr Conway,

Sebastian just looked at him.

"What made you choose that song?" He asked,

"I… I just… I felt a connection with it" Replied Sebastian.

"Can I please have a word with you outside?" Sebastian nodded, "Class, can you discuss what emotion Mr Smythe was trying to portray".

Mr Conway lead Sebastian out into the corridor. He then closed the door.

"Sebastian, I want to ask, why did you pick that song?"

"I just told you?" Asked Sebastian confused,

"Sebastian, what was the connection?"

"I'm sorry! Sir I am. I know I can't sing. I get told everyday. I'm sorry if that was terrible. I understand if you want me to drop your class. I'll just. I'll get my stuff and leave."

Mr Conway went to say something but Sebastian walked into the class and gathered his bag.

"Sebastian stop!" Shouted Mr Conway. Sebastian was shoving stuff violently into his bag.

"Sebastian!"

"What?!" He yelled,

"Stop. Just listen to me!?"

"WHY?! So I can listen to you tell me how bad I am!? How I'm tone deaf!? Really! I hear that shit everyday! I know I'm delusional! I don't need you to tell me too!" Sebastian snapped. He grabbed his bag and stormed out.

He ran straight to the bathroom, into a stall. He locked the door, slid down the wall, curled up and just cried


	5. Authors Note

Hey everyone! I am still alive! **Please read this, do not skip it!**

Sorry I haven't been posting. I'm going to start again now. I just got caught up posting on Ao3 and kinda let that take over. I have written quite a few stories on there is your interested. My username is flarrow_huntbastian on there if you wanna check them out.

Anyway, I was thinking about discontinuing my stories on here (this account in general) until I saw some of the comments asking for updates just then. One that stood out to me most was one posted by someone under the name of A. Now this person was a guest and so I couldn't reply to their comment and so they inspired this authors note. Before I continue this is what they wrote:

So I think you broke my heart, and I'm gonna need another chapter to cry over. That was wow. The song, I've not heard it before but it was something I could relate to a bit.

Now before I talk about this comment in detail (explaining as to why it effected me so much) I want to say that the song is the basis of this entire story. The song is called Last Weeks Alcohol and its from the musical Our First Mistakes (The Unauthorised Autobiography of Samantha Brown). If you want to listen to it here's a YouTube link to one of my favourite versions: watch?v=NCZkYGv-d-U

Now the reason this comment got to me is because for a start they didn't just ask me to update. Don't get me wrong, asking me to update isn't a bad thing because it tells me that "yes, you like my story so far and that you want to know more", but I've been writing fanfictions/stories and scripts and making videos, random short films and all sorts for over five years now, and just saying update or post more without reason, gets repetitive and exceedingly boring, trust me I am not the only 'creator' to think this. Most do but are too polite to say it. Now I'm not saying that this is the only comment I've received that isn't asking me to update because there are others that aren't just saying update but this one stood out for other reasons as well.

Another reason this comment stood out is the emotional connection. He/she wrote that the chapter broke their heart. This comment told me that I have achieved something that is very hard to get, and that is the wanted emotion at a given time. I wanted the reader to feel sad, and to feel bad for Sebastian, and its a hard thing to do when writing because obviously you can't hear how I'm reading it in my head. I may be reading it in a really depressing tone but you may be reading it in a sing-song voice. Just knowing that one person got the desired effect gives me inspiration, because now I know what I've written is not just words anymore, I know this because someone has read it and felt real emotion.

Thank you everyone who reads and comments. Even if you don't comment, thank you for reading. I actually made an edit for this fanfic, its like a trailer of sorts but it's not the best so I do want to ask, if any of you are good at editing or want to give it a try, I would really appreciate it if you could make a book cover and a fan edit (trailer) for this fanfic that could be uploaded to youtube. If you do make a trailer/fan edit, post it to YouTube and leave a comment with the IP (link) on this chapter or any to come.

Thank you for reading this and the next chapter will be up by this time tomorrow.

\- xxx


	6. Chapter 5

_Hello. My name…. My… My name is Sebastian Smythe._

 _I'm here to confess….._

He woke up to the sound of ringing. He opened his eyes to find he was still on the floor in the bathroom. The ringing stopped. He picked up his phone to see a long list of missed texts and calls.

Blaine - _Hey Seb. Can we talk. Please call me. It's important._

Mark - _You're late! Get your ass home right now._

"No no… I don't know…. Yes…. I just want to know what's going on." Sebastian could hear the sounds of someone on the phone outside the toilet stall. He recognised the voice.

"I don't know….. Yes….. okay…. Goodbye…."

Sebastian slowly unlocked the door.

"Blaine…..?" He said in a small voice. Blaine quickly turned. Mainly out of shock. He hadn't realised someone was in the stall.

"Oh… my.. Sebastian. You scared the life out of me" Blaine let out a small laugh but as he further took in the sight of Sebastian before him he stopped. Suddenly Sebastian felt himself pulled forward into Blaine's arms. Blaine held him tight. It was the first time in forever that someone had hugged Sebastian. He felt all of his emotions rise up. His knees buckled and tears started falling freely. Blaine ended up holding Sebastian's weight after his knees buckled. What surprised Blaine most is how little Sebastian weighed, it was like he wasn't holding a fully grown teen, but a small child.

Sebastian kept muttering, I'm sorry and it's all my fault but Blaine just shoshed him and kept holding him.

Sebastian knew this feeling and comfort would only be short lived. He couldn't tell Blaine what was going on because if he did Blaine would want nothing to do with him. He was certain of it.


	7. Chapter 7

Hello! Please read this it's very important!

All of my stories on here are being moved onto Ao3. They will be edited and re-done for the move.

I'm sorry if this inconveniences anyone but it will make my life one hell of a lot easier to update more often if they're on my Ao3 account. Luckily you don't have to have an account on Ao3 to read and leave comments and kudos on Ao3 so if you still want to read my fanfics but don't want to wait on the waiting list to get an account you still can.

I won't be taking down any of the stories on here (other than the ones I already have) until about the end of May beginning June so they will definitely be posted on Ao3 when I take them down.

If you are interested in still following (continuing to read) the fanfictions my account name is flarrow_huntbastian and in case you can't find that account I have posted a few fanfictions so you could try searching them. They are Still Breathing in the Stars, The Greatest Years of our Lives and Emails of the Forsaken. All of those fanfictions are Olivary based so if you wanna check them out go ahead!


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